Selfless Love - A Perspective On Ego, Nature, And Relationships

By Nougye Mutungi Mukoma

Hello and welcome, today in blog we discuss being selfless, love, our persona, and a topic of most interest within our lives, love and relationships. Respectfully written as the celebration of Valentines Day approaches,  beautiful topics to pick apart, as perhaps maybe you’ve never pondered within this particular form. I myself am continuously learning within the laws and rules that are by nature applicable to these very words. Trusting you may enjoy the read, and allow me your thoughts, comments, like, and share positively. Thanks in advance.

Now,

SELFLESS LOVE

There might have been moments in your life when you thought about selfless love. Maybe you were forced to think about it after a bad breakup…..

Maybe you were having a conversation about it with your friends…..

 Or ..

Maybe, you are one who dares to go to the depths of what makes us human and the fundamental forces that are at the heart of everything around us.

So, what is it to be selfless?

Is there even something that the self needs to be lessened of to be selfless? And does this selflessness lead to love?

And what is love anyway, other than a 4-letter word, that is often used for the purpose of expressing the heart in human expression?

If you really want to understand these concepts, it is important to ask questions of yourself that make you uncomfortable. For in that discomfort lies the truth. For instance, do human beings, in their actual appreciation of the word “selfless” express the capacity of its meaning?

To understand this word is to understand the inner workings of the egoic persona. To express one’s self as “selfless,” is to be in awareness of the expression of the one that falsely expresses a person of experience. In this sense, does it not make sense to question our authenticity to arrive at this level of humility or observation?

This leads us directly to the next big question, one that I have pondered quite a bit. Can a human being truly express a void of their ego for the benefit of the other, which is also self? In observation, my witness is in conflict regarding this question… for even within my own being, moments of so-called selfless actions might be entangled to personal gain, if truly prodded in depth.

Of course, I am not saying that our intention to want to be selfless is malicious in any way. However, my observation has been that, for most, the intention of selflessness often sprouts from the purpose of being seen as good, and righteous, and also for the aggrandizement of the ego.

In my work, we are leveled in competitive metrics, and I often struggle to balance the purpose. Yes, it may provoke one to do good, but this is as well the competitive carrot of ego pursuit. Hence, this makes me question selfless intention.

In all honesty, I don’t believe that we can ever fully be selfless because the ego is purposeful for reasons of being within this realm. However, I do believe that with understanding, we can create some distance between the self and ego persona. We can remain observant of it so that we can do onto others as we would have done onto ourselves. A human way of selfless action. Either way, this is better in practice than the overt selfishness that may arise from uncontrolled ego personas.

Love

As with selflessness, the word “love” is often used… but with great conditions applied to its give and take. Especially in today’s world, it seems as though this word comes with a ton of fine print that weighs down its true beauty. I, therefore, for many reasons, use this word sparingly. But I do hold a great belief in its origin of being.

Time for another uncomfortable question. If you may be of truth to self, does this word, love,  within your own life, carry the same liberty that it possesses? Or do you use it for those who are simply close, or for people whom you like, or for those who do what you wish? Be very honest.

I know, my purpose is to bring a different level of thinking about what we do not usually ponder, and for this, to bring us to the true nature of the conflict we have within ourselves, as people, and with our lives. Understanding is the stepping stone to Liberation.

Undoubtedly though, love is a beautiful word in nature. It’s a word that is endowed within our environment, our bodies, and our ecosystems, both within and without, that keeps us alive.

As we look at the sun, love is present in that, it doesn’t boast any resentment toward one or the other. It shines without judgement on what we call good or even what we perceive as bad. Within our bodies, when in balance, every cell resonates with one another, in complete harmony, withstanding the gravitational pull of the earthly atmosphere, keeping us in motion. The depth of our material being is never revealed by this love of glued attachments.

I wonder whether we humans can ever arrive at this level of love. Can we ever put our persona to its rightful place and germinate a love that understands the creative expressions as our selves and therefore, love without expectation?

To Speak of Relationship Love

I would say that relationship love is a dance to be understood. However, it is a dance where both may take the other for granted. As such, it’s crucial to be mindful of this truth. Once you are mindful of it, you realize that you are both expressions of biology, social factors, and environmental factors of each individual life.

To dance in sync with one another, one must have compassion for the other, they must learn openly from one another, and there is no place for casting judgment or expectations of change. Rather, within this understanding, there should be clear and heartful communication that conveys any emotional needs that may arise. Love in leadership and in selfless regard may help the other to open avenues of the heart never before imagined. When tangled in webs of misunderstandings counseling may be helpful in communication factors. Communication and some level of vulnerability is key within the building blocks of relationships.

When you’re in love within a relationship, it is quite easy to remain in love with the image of the other that you had once met. And this might make it difficult to accept the actuality of your present life. Hence, it’s important to grow and nurture together and know that love is evolving with time. To be in love is to be present in each moment, encouraging, and reminding the other that the place within the heart is not forgotten. Every day is a new day. Never use words that you will regret. Take a step back before taking a step forward.

And remember, love is strong. And so, you are not to take the wrong idea of love by staying in relationships that are abusive, stagnant, and devoid of love. You deserve much more than that. You are responsible for your self-care, self-love, self-strength, and self-check.

When one properly loves one’s self, not the ego self, but rather the self that understands that nature and God consciousness are at its core, you truly understand love in all its glory. Nature is strong, nature is resilience, nature is magnificent and therefore you are as well. Introspectcare and self care in truth at its finest.

That, is the power of love that one needs to apply to one’s self. Also, consider to rest the mind and body for maximal energy rejuvenation. Do eat nutritious food, exercise, and engage in healthy expression of external and internal beauty. Balance your hormones with through prayer and meditation for optimal interactions. You will find with this self-treatment, you will love without tolerance for negative encounters, and you will repel those that are incongruent.

To finish, love and selflessness are loaded words. My aim was to bring your attention to the positives and negatives. Hopefully, this will bring you deep insights into your life. Happy love, self-care, and introspect care.

Remember, love is a dance that is well worth it. Love is work, human love is work, and challenging.

I would focus on being present, fair, understanding, and compassionate. Be truthful about your mindset. Be honest about the hurts, pains, anger, regrets, and resentment that both love and selflessness might bring. And most importantly, be RESPECTFUL. Words matter; take higher roads. And for the sake of wellness, always seek professional help if necessary. Be wise. Whether it was to explain human or the  universal aspects of love, love resides within these words above without corruption. Take great care in love and selfless pursuit with great understanding.

As always, thank you for reading, and like, subscribe, and share.

Blessings,

Nougye